2011 has been washed away in time. Now its time to say hello!

I thought of all the hellos that have shaped my life. At 18, on the first day at my summer job I shook hands with a girl who loved Prince as much as I did. I didn’t realise that God had given me another sister. At 20, I introduced myself to a couple in a chip shop. She was wearing this jacket that I’d heard him talk about at church. I had no idea that these people would become family, that our friendship would take us around the world.

I sat next to a guy on a plane. He was a part of our church community, but we weren’t friends. We were part of a mission team for a week, so I thought I’d make an effort and say hello. I had no idea how close we’d become, our hearts and lives entwined. I say hello to him every morning. And our babies, our beautiful babies. What a privilege to say hello to each one as they entered the world.  The sweat, the tiredness, and frankly the pain, swallowed up in wonder and gratitude as I greeted the baby in my arms.

There have been many hellos that have shaped my life.

So how will I say hello to 2012? Not every hello opened a door of opportunity. Some opened up  conflict and heartbreak. Others were ignored and rejected. And sometimes the goodbye came way too soon.  So at times my hellos have been suspicious, cynical, distant, subdued, non committal. I’ve called it wisdom  or waiting of course. Its been a rare moment of vulnerability that I’ve had the courage to call it fear or disappointment.

Today at the dawn of a New Year, I’d like my hello to be as open as it used to be. As I used to be. I’m greeting the year with a broad smile and a firm handshake (we don’t do limp). I’m not waiting in the shadows, I’m taking initiative and greeting the year with boldness and light and excitement in my eyes. I’ll let my voice be loud even if my heart shows through. I’ll step into uncertainty if needed, because why not? Ordinary life produces the unexpected, I’m going to engage with it. I will cradle this year with wonder and gratitude, knowing that sometimes even the best things in life  are birthed in sweat and tiredness and pain. I’m saying hello to 2012 with my voice, expressing my choice.

I have no idea how this year will go. I know that hello is just the beginning – it shapes my perspective but doesn’t predict or protect. I’ve learned to entrust those responsibilities into the strong Hand of Another. He rises with healing in his wings, He restores the years that the locusts have eaten. He is the Savior, Covenant partner, King. He hold my hand and leads me forward.

Hello 2012, I’m pleased to meet you.

How will you say hello to 2012?

The Christmas decorations are fading into the background at our house; they feel a bit like clutter. We’ll pack them away tomorrow. The girls gave away their old toys without out a flicker of sentiment (Even Charlie and Lola. Could it be that I actually love their toys more than they do?). They play with their new toys for hours as though these toys are old friends. My hubby is immersed in a new book. Christmas may have 12 days, but for us, this bit looks remarkably like the rest of our lives… Yet amid the Christmas presents, the great meals, the fun times, there’s a bubbling excitement inside of me, almost to be point of giddy. We’re on the cusp of a New Year.

I love New Year’s Eve; I love New Year’s Day.

A New Year has always given me Hope. The past is now the past. Time has led my life to a new beginning, where things could be different. Things would be different.  I would never have to repeat that day, that month, that experience, because I couldn’t ever go back to that exact moment in time. I’d been given another chance, and I was determined to take it. My perspective has been tempered over the years . There are moments I’d love to go back and repeat, final conversations that I’d love to continue. Those memories make me wistful. But the Hope remains.

This year I’m aware of a Hope stealer; something that can pollute a new beginning. I’ve realized that to truly step into all that  2012 has in store, I’ve had to say goodbye to 2011. Yes, the past is in the past, unless you allow it to live on in your heart, unless you relive it in your mind. Yes, you have a new start. Unless the past casts a shadow that transcends time, distorting the beauty of a new day. Sometimes our best intentions for running into the future are tripped up because we run from facing our past. We’ll need to turn face some things in order to say goodbye.

The things we need to say goodbye to aren’t always hurts and wounds. It might be a habit, a comfort zone. They might be good things that we’ve simply outgrown.  How can I walk into the unknown with God whilst seated, no, embedded in the familiar? Time to say goodbye.

I drove to the beach the other day, ready to do business with God. Its funny how, standing on this beautiful beach, looking out onto the vast Pacific Ocean, I still find ways to argue with my Creator, but anyway. The praying began; the wrestle until the surrender. I drew a line in the sand, and the other side of the line waited for me to arrive. I know it sounds formal, and perhaps a little weird. But…I needed to say goodbye. It had to be my voice, expressing my choice. I know the outworking of our decisions can be a process – but what kind of life was I going to choose?

Would I choose bitterness, or would I choose grace? Would I choose hurt or would I choose wholeness? Would I choose comfort or would I choose calling? Would I choose fears or faith? Would my old habits hold me back, even the good ones, or would I let the Lord lead me forward? Is my life open still open to His guidance, His leading? There are many things in life that are much bigger than me, way beyond my control. Yet I do have responsibility for how I respond  to the opportunities and challenges that come my way. And I’d like to keep choosing life in all its fullness. I choose Him.

I stepped over the line, washed my feet in the ocean and said Goodbye to 2011. Walking back to the car there’s this bubbling excitement inside of me, almost to the point of giddy. Hope is back. Because it’s time to say hello to a New Year.

What do you need to say goodbye to as you enter a New Year?

Whilst lots of things come up, my review is broken into 3 main parts. In my years at St. Thomas, we used the Lifeshapes discipleship tools, one of which was called the TRIANGLE. The triangle explores the 3 priorities we see in Jesus life – Up, a relationship with the father, in – relationships with his covenant community, other believers, and an OUT relationship to the world around him. So adapting what I learned, my review was broken down into the following

How am I doing spiritually? It covers prayer, bible study, spiritual battles and deserts and breakthroughs. Am I secure in my relationship with God as my Father, am I surrendered to God as my Lord and King?

 How am I doing relationally? This area looked at how my friendships were doing, relationships with guys, and my single years. Now it focuses on my marriage, and kids and friendships. But as I attend to this area, it would highlight attitudes and insecurities, frustrations, how I dealt with conflicts, as well as how God had met me through the people in my life

How am I doing physically? This area worked twofold: on one level it looked at some of the practical areas of my life, money, health, work, etc. How well was I engaging with life in the real world as it were? But then it  also explored calling, and witness and social action. Had I shared Jesus with anyone, who was I seeing come to faith? How active were my relationships with non Christians? How am I engaging with the Lord’s call on my life? How am I responding to the pressing issues and needs of the world around me?

So that’s how I review the year. How do you take stock of what is happening in your life?

(for more info on LifeShapes – check out www.3dministries.com)

‘Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.’

She commented on the fact that this tree, although evergreen, produced fruit not continually, but in season. And the fact that there are times that it does not produce fruit does not mean that its roots are not in the stream.

Does our negative bank balance mean that we are not rooted in the Lord? No, after much meditation and prayerful consideration I can tell you that is not the reason.  I don’t believe in a God who punishes us.  We have been faithful to his word and have been open-handed to the poor (Deut 24:12; Proverbs 28:27).

And when I look at why we are in financial problems it is not down to unwise decisions, but direct attacks on our finances: out of our control.  That tells me that the problem is not us, too.

God, in His Sovereignty, has so far decided that we are not quite ready to be fruitful in the area of our finances.  But He is faithful and does provide what we need.  We have had unaccounted-for money appear, we have had a week’s worth of food left in our kitchen and we were given costly medicines for free when we went to the doctors.

I refuse to believe that God is not faithful.  Instead, I choose to believe that God is pruning us and preparing us to be able to withstand the fruit He is going to bring – in season!

I’ve been really aware of the changing season this year, particularly in the past week coming away from the coast to the hills where the trees are in full autumn glory. I read something recently that remarked on how ironic it is that the leaves are only so beautiful because they are dying. The leaves have enjoyed the pleasant spring and summer and now must die in order for the cycle of life to start again in the spring. This isn’t a dismal death though; this is going in a blaze of glory! It has made me reflect on how I embrace the cycle of life and death (or pruning in John 15:2) in my walk with Jesus. Ecclesiastes 3 says, “there is a time for everything…a time to be born and a time to die.” So often, I am not best pleased when that pruning time comes; I want to run from it because it is usually painful and hard work. I reluctantly give in to God rather than run towards Him with a willing heart. I kind of wither and shrivel in self-pity rather than blaze with glory and let the beauty of death to self shine through. The thing about the seasons in nature is that you know what’s going to happen. I know that winter will soon follow and it will be cold and sometimes feel desolate but then the warmth of spring will eventually return and the trees will become green again. Life will be restored.

Really, it’s the same in our faith.  If we want to have life to the full and be fruitful in our walk then we have to go through seasons of pruning and death. But we have to remember that light and life will return and that the Lord will carry us through those tough times. Trust in Him and embrace whatever season you are in!

But there is something incredibly beautiful that happens when we embrace the natural pauses that there are in a day.

A few quiet moments to sit on the sofa with a toddler and read a story after lunch. An early morning sleepy hug in bed. A cup of coffee and a book in a coffee shop.  A quick walk to the local shops. A silence that falls when a friend shares her heart with you and you don’t know what to say.

We need moments of rest in our day, not just to catch our breath, but to breathe deeply and connect once again with our creator.

When you read the psalms, you will often see the word ‘selah’ or pause.  Far from being awkward silences, these were moments to reflect on the words that had been said.  They are moments to connect with the God who brings the words alive. They are moments to receive restoration in our busy lives.

Selah. Pause. Breathe deeply. Connect.

Psalm 46:10: Be still and know that I am God.

But am I? One of the speaker’s comments was, “You become a slave to the thing you worship”, and so I asked myself a different question.  “What have I become a slave to?”  My answers were very different.  For example, I might say “I don’t worship money” but am I a slave to my finances, to always wanting to accrue more to pay for the things I ‘need’?  I might say “I don’t worship fashion” but am I a slave to my appearance, to having ‘trendy’ things to wear? I might say “I don’t worship that person” but am I a slave to their opinions, to making them happy, to seeking their approval?

A few days later I came across this Jewish prayer which challenged me further.

“Sovereign of the universe, it is well known to you that our will is to do your will. [But] what prevents us? The yeast in the dough[1] and [our] enslavement to other kingdoms. May it be your will to save us from them so that we can once more fully perform the statutes of your will”.

A prayer by Rabbi Alexandri (Berachot 17a)[2]

In the context of this prayer “enslavement to other kingdoms” is a literal reference to Israel’s inability to freely practice the Jewish faith while they were suffering “at the hands of ruling authorities”[3]. But it spoke to me about our own inability to fully know and perform the will of God when we are enslaved to other things, when other “kingdoms” or kings dominate our lives.  You might spot physical signs.  I know for me this can mean that life just feels heavy, burdensome, like I’m wading through mud! Anxiety levels rise, shoulders tense, sighs expelled.  But as this prayer expresses, there is hope.  Just as God moved powerfully to save Israel from Egypt so they could worship him at Sinai, He has also moved powerfully to provide a route to freedom for us through Jesus.

Quoting Isaiah 61:1 Jesus declared,

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom to the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.”

Luke 4:18-19

• • • • • • Are there areas of your life where you are enslaved? To people, things, attitudes?
          • If you are able, why not try sharing them with someone you trust and start asking Jesus to set you free to be ruled by Him alone.

[2] Quoted by Brad Young in “The Lord’s Prayer (6) “Thy Will Be Done””, Jerusalem Perspective, 1 Jan 04. http://www.jerusalemperspective.com/

[3] Brad Young, as above.

God’s timing is perfect and while we may not understand why things aren’t happening when we want them to, they always happen in His time.  And if we can keep listening for his direction and timing then we get to see how awesome His plan is.

Too often we get scared and force things to happen.  Sometimes this can lead to some good but I find I’m left feeling like it wasn’t God at all, just me.

Sarah and Abraham got scared.  Sarah gave Abraham her servant Hagar to father a child with, since God wasn’t moving fast enough for her.  The result was a son, who was blessed, but was not the son of the true blessing.  How many times have I read this story and thought how crazy they were for not trusting God and waiting on Him, yet here I am in a situation which forces me to wait and I get impatient and want to “fix it.”  I want the control.  I want to get moving.  I want.  I want.  I want.

My prayer is that these circumstances will happen less and less often as I learn to trust.  Guess we’ll wait and see.

Lord, help me to trust in you and your timing, not my own erred self.  Grant me patience, strength, wisdom, and an ear to hear your voice, as I travel through life with you.  Amen.

Genesis 16

• What are you afraid of?
• Where do you need to let go of control in your own life?
• Where is God calling you to trust in Him more?

How often do you use the word ‘but’? It’s an every day word, used countless times often in an insignificant way; “I’d love to help but I’m busy right now”, “You can have that chocolate button but first you need to tidy your toys away”, “I forgive you but I’m still cross inside.” In this passage in Ephesians the word ‘but’ becomes a hugely significant turning point; hope is restored with that one word. Man disobeyed God and so we have come under His judgement and anger BUT because of God’s enormous love for us, He sent Jesus to die for us and so opened up the way for us to have eternal life. I’m so thankful that that ‘but’ is there! This passage has spoken to me hugely this week. I have been in London learning about different religions, and had the opportunity to visit a Mosque, a Sikh Gurdwara, and a Hindu Temple and listen to religious leaders talk about their faith. The thing that struck me the most was their lack of certainty that they would be forgiven and go to heaven; a common feature with all was that they had to do good works or make offerings to their god in order to be in with a chance. It felt so hopeless. BUT what good news we as Christians have! We are forgiven and given hope and life in abundance and nothing we can do can change that. We should really pray that we know the power of the word ‘but’ in our lives every day.

Created by Ben Lacey.