Its that time of year again….

In the UK back in the day, Halloween was a lot more black and white. Quite literally. Where I lived, trick or treating seemed more spiteful and mean spirited than it was fun. I wasn’t opening any doors to any random strangers thank you very much, nor was I knocking on anyone’s door. Was I the only one who grew up hearing the legendary story about the guy who put razor blades in the “treats”? Maybe I was the only one who believed it… Besides it seemed to celebrate the darkness and the sinister.  The local newspaper would always have interviews with the local witch,  striking an odd pose who yes was casting spells and conducting some random prayer meeting with her coven that weekend. So we Christians had prayer meetings and worship services and fun filled parties for kids in the community so that they didn’t have to break their” don’t- talk- to- or- accept- chocolate- from- strangers ” rule that parents enforced for the other 364 days of the year. It was a fantastic thing.  Still, the best story I ever heard was of a friend whose mum didn’t pull her kids out of all the Halloween parties, but sent them in homemade costumes as the Holy Ghost. Although my friend recounted the story with horror, it was my kind of horror movie.

Then we move to the States. Halloween is a whole different vibe here. First it was the decor. Houses would be decorated with  ghosts and graveyards and cobwebs. I still find that weird to be honest. But stranger still was seeing entire families dressed up as Disney characters. They’re hanging out with their neighbors and talking to one another and relaxing. Slowing down, taking a day off together. Eating lots and lots of candy. It was like the Holiday Season Kick Off.

Still, for the first few years we just hid away. I had newborns, and I didn’t want people knocking on my door waking them up. I don’t like giving kids yucky candy etc etc.  Then one year we decided to hang out on the porch. All the neighbors were out, and we got talking and sharing, and new relationships began. I began to wonder why I sat indoors with the the doors locked and the lights on, if it was so dark outside, you know what I mean?

Truth is I’m still not Halloween’s greatest fan. I don’t dig the scare yourself senseless vibe. I’m not decorating the house with gravestones and skulls anytime soon.  I’m wondering why so many of the costumes for women are so ridiculously sexual. The Cinderella I grew up with did not reveal anywhere near that much. And  dressing up as a prostitute and her pimp doesn’t make me laugh.

But all the reasons why I locked my door are the reasons why I’m now opening it. If its as dark and twisted as we think, then we shouldn’t we be working out how to engage with our community more rather than hide away? Doesn’t light shine brightest in the dark anyway? Perhaps one day my house will be one of those homes that welcomes all, and hands outs snacks and treats and love as people as that walk around the streets. Perhaps one day they’ll know it as the home with the lights on all year round.

Tonight we’re not going to be singing carols, or screaming Scriptures at people. We’ll not be chastizing witches, and giving zombies dirty looks. But we are going to be hanging out with our friends from the school gate. Sharing time, sharing lives and conversation. Giving kids  our well- wrapped- razor- blade- free- not- that- nutritious- chocolate- and- candy. We’ll be admiring the little Buzz Lightyears and Rapunzels  and telling them how great they look as they beam with kiddie pride.We’ll be kicking off the holiday season, watching it rise with a thankful heart in November, and find transformation and hope in a manger in December. And through it all we’ll be looking for the people of peace that might want to talk a bit more, that we might want prayer, or simply need a listening ear. Looking for people to love, to bless to, befriend.

Yes its that time of year again. And no, its not my favorite celebration, but it is a missional opportunity. It’s a chance to build relationships and reach out.

And if I have to do that dressed as Cleopatra – then so be it.

Last week I bought my first very own bicycle. It’s a white beach cruiser,  complete with matching white basket.  I’d dreamt of  early morning rides along the beach bike path, stopping off for breakfast at Scotty’s in Hermosa or somewhere. Or riding to a local farmer’s market and filling by basket with fresh, local produce. There’s one little hiccup though; the riding bit. I’m still actually learning how to ride a bike. It’s been a long journey, but even as life gets away from you sometimes, certain dreams won’t leave you alone.

So I’m in the park and I’m ready to ride. Sort of. It took about 3 seconds to realize my biggest challenge to my goal was not my balance, navigating my gears, or the local uneven streets. It was  was learning how to learn. I rediscovered that whilst I love gathering information, discovering new things, stretching my intellect and dreaming,  learning is far more encompassing, far more incarnational, and dare I say it, at times far less attractive.

Learning how to learn was hard because I’ve generally relied on natural talents and preferences. I didn’t learn how to sing; I didn’t learn how to run fast, throw or catch a ball, and reading and writing came to me early and easily.Learning was about building on my strengths. So even when it was difficult, it felt like a worthwhile investment that made me even stronger.

But my talents and my perspective couldn’t help me this time. It was humbling. The quite literal twists and turns (and wobbles!) on the bike left me exposed.  I wanted to go to the park at the crack of dawn or at the end of dusk, because I didn’t want people to see me…like this. I felt angry that I’d never learned earlier, and rued the futility of having no one to blame. I felt scared, scared of failing and giving up, but scared of falling and getting bruised and bloody. Maybe I’d go out on the bike another day. Perhaps I’d go for a run ( read – something I feel very competent at) instead. I felt ashamed of my awkward incompetence.

Perhaps to rescue my rapidly spiraling confidence, I started thinking how much this reminded me of the process of discipleship. The idea of being mentored/coached – discipled sounds great, a beautiful and shiny pathway to our dream of becoming better people, suitable spouses, more effective leaders, greater influencers! But we rapidly discover that discipleship is not merely about gathering information and building upon our strengths. It’s incarnational. Its an apprenticeship that sometimes leaves you  feeling utterly exposed. You  learn things you thought you already knew but don’t; you get  frustrated because you paid $1000′s for an education that seems to have ill equipped you for leading people You feel like the strengths that brought you here are utterly inadequate to get you to where you’re called to be. You hope no one sees you. They’d only discover that you’re the person you’re most afraid you are.

It might be a really powerful word, but sometimes discipleship feels awful, because it exposes the truth that you are weak.

But then that’s also the beauty of learning, really learning. Discipleship doesn’t expect you to just know things; it assumes that you are a life long apprentice, an incarnational learner.  Discipleship isn’t only interested in information gathering;  an apprentice needs an accessible example to observe, experience and imitate, in order to really learn. Discipleship can feel weak and out of your depth – just look at the disciples. But the impact of being discipled and in doing so learning how to multiply that process. Well, just look at the disciples.

So as I cycle awkwardly around the park, I realise that my bruised ego needs times like these. Times like these remind me that I am a disciple, a learner, an apprentice. I’m learning from Him, and from the key people He’s placed in my life as disciplers. I may be weak and awkward sometimes,  but I’m also growing in Him every day.

Before you mention it, no I’m not into all the spirituality stuff .Yes, like every talk show, sometimes you wonder if it’s a bit exploitative, whether all that sharing is necessary. And maybe some are cynical about her influence in the publishing industry, or even the election. I’m sure there are a million things we could say. But I said she was a role model, not a Saviour; she didn’t need to be perfect. She just needed to be there.

In my teens I looked for role models, women of colour who were dark skinned, who were not dancers or singers or athletes. Not because there was anything wrong with those women; not at all. It was simply that just because I could dance, and sing and be sporty, it didn’t mean that was what I wanted to do with my life, and I didn’t like the idea when those roles were assumed to be my destiny. I didn’t want a stereotype. After school I watched a lot of TV, searching for a different ending. I found two particular women that stood out to me. Claire Huxtable and Oprah Winfrey – and Claire was a fictional character! So that left Oprah to inspire. I won’t sound like a devoted fan, because I barely remember any of her shows or comments. I just needed to see her that’s all; to see that she had reached beyond what was expected and assumed of her. It was good to see her there every day. The world is different today. My daughters see their skin tone in the White House and shout “Obama’s butterscotch like me!” and play on completely carefree. But then, Oprah was evidence that a way was being paved to make a different future possible.

When I am speaking and working, THE conversation I always have with young women (especially those who are leaders) is about mentoring. There are women looking, longing for role models. They don’t need us to be perfect, they need us to be present, loving the lord, living the life – wherever that might be. They need more than fictional or historical or even TV hosts, they need us.  Are we ready and available to make the time to raise up the next generation? Some of us are still waiting to be raised ourselves, and wait in hope. I wonder if it’s time to be intentional with this and start mentoring anyway…

Back to today, I stay wistful and thankful for the people whom by their life and example, bid me to push forward. Ms. Oprah Winfrey, I salute you.

When I read that verse, I feel a mixture of things – a challenge, a sense of unworthiness, guilt even.  Even if it is not my desire, the reality is I often am ashamed of the gospel.  Or at least, I am ashamed to speak up when I have an opportunity.

I remember one of my school friends once said to me: “Anna, I love the fact that you have never tried to push Christianity on me – that you respect what I believe and don’t try and change my beliefs”.  She meant it as a compliment but my heart sank.  I felt like I had failed. The truth is I can’t respect her beliefs – how can I respect something that I think is going to end her up in hell, never knowing the one who came to save her? I deeply respect and love her but I can’t respect what she believes.

Now a few years on my husband and I are missionaries in Peru and our job is to encourage people to reach others for Christ.  And we believe not only in talking – we have to model it! So we have started a Mums and tots group in a poor area of Lima.  When it began I had the intention of forming relationships with the women, getting to know them, visiting them and then perhaps, many weeks down the line, sharing the gospel with them.  But God challenged me.  Here in Peru people are very open to the gospel and don’t get offended easily by sharing it.  So why exactly was I holding off?

‘Don’t be ashamed of the gospel’, came God’s word ‘for it is the power of God for the salvation of all who believe’, followed by another verse: ‘Make the most of every opportunity’ (Col  4:5).

Ok God, I get it.

And you know what? Many women have begun a walk with Jesus as we have shared the gospel and God’s love with them every week.  I’m not saying that it is that easy in every culture (I am pretty sure it is not!), but part of me wonders if the reason I saw less people come to know Christ in my home culture had less to do with people not being open and more to do with my embarrassment of the Gospel.  The harvest is plentiful, we just need to know where to harvest and then go and do it.

Do you feel empowered or powerless when it comes to sharing the Gospel?
What opportunities is God giving you at the moment to make the most of?

Of course there is a time and season for everything under heaven.  Whether, and for whatever reason, it is a time of more passive leadership and abiding (as in the parable of the vine and branches in John 15), a time of just ‘being’ and spending more time with the Father.  Conversely, it could be a time of more active, even aggressive leadership, of working really hard (without burning ourselves out).

The key for knowing all of this is to permanently (or as often as is realistically possible) keep our eyes fixed on Jesus (Heb 12:2).  We need to keep on asking Him, ‘what am I to do here and how do I do it?’

It is so easy when times are good to think we know what we’re doing and to cruise on autopilot.  We can be tempted to give out of our own resources rather than the overflow of what God’s put in us.  We can easily be distracted by good/ interesting /fun things that are going on around us (which are not bad in and of themselves).

When times are more difficult, we may have so many urgent and pressing things or people competing for our attention.  How easy it is to respond to one demand after another.  It can be hard to find time to really seek the Lord.  What is the thing that He would deem as urgent and how would He want me to go about it?

This is one of those basic truths that we all know but sometimes forget to implement. I have to keep on reminding myself of what I’m aiming for.  Who am I trying to please?  Am I getting my priorities right?  I’m assuming that this will be an ongoing thing for us all to master.  Or is it just me?!

If we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses (those whom we lead and whose lives we affect, both in and out of the church), then let nothing hinder us, but let’s run with perseverance and fix our eyes on Jesus!

Ponder:

• How is your rhythm for spending time with God and working out what He wants you to do in your present situation?
• Is God calling you to a season of abiding/resting/focussing more on Him?  Or is he telling you to go?

at North Park University (Chicago, Illinois). It’s taken from his article “Women Ministering” on www. cbeinternational.org

“When we ask the question of women in ministry, the debate almost immediately gravitates to traditional “women in ministry” texts. But I’d like us to ask another question — one both more biblical and more answerable: Do women do in your church what Miriam, Deborah, Huldah, Priscilla, Junia, and Phoebe did? Do they do what Mary did? Do they do what Jesus encouraged women to do?”

I think he asks us some brilliant questions!  Any thoughts?

Photo by Hilde Vanstraelen.  www.biewoef.be

No. Surely it’s just my own selfish ambition. Crying out for attention. AGAIN.

So why won’t it go away?

Why does it fill me so, compel me so feel like fire breaking out of me so I’m about to explode?

I can’t take this, but I cannot ignore You.  I don’t want to. Because somewhere in me

(And I’ll only say this as a whisper)I know it is you.

——————————————–

You did this to me. I find it remarkable almost funny, almost,

That people think I wanted this, like I was greedy for the power. Have they

Known the loneliness, the hostility?

Do they think I want a platform, to blaze a trail? No! You take it all!

Give me acceptance, give me normality, give me friendship and love and fun

Instead of this fire in my bones that burns even me.

——————————————–

This is who I am. I think. A leader I think. I have something to say

It would be so much easier if you listened to me. Why do you smile and still

Ignore my every word?

I think. Yes, I feel, but I think I can’t live in the box you’ve got for me.

Fire needs a torch not a lampshade. I think I might be confident enough

To not need your approval to be who I am called to be.

——————————————–

There are days I wish, I long for guidelines on how to do this.

Instead it’s a labyrinth, in the dark. Its hard and Its tiring.

Am I getting anywhere?

Marriage, children – girls! In it all you kept returning as did the fire.

Occasionally I find a friend in the labyrinth and its healing, because she understands.

So I don’t fight you anymore (much) because I know you are for me, and together we’ll find a way.

——————————————–

“No one’s ever said to me that I could be a strong woman”

“It makes such a difference to see a woman up there.” Spoken with smiles and tears.

Is that fire in their eyes?

Is it hope that I might feel what they feel, fear what they fear, and have something to share?

I hold out a tissue and they wipe their eyes. They’re wondering why my hand remains outstretched.

“Come” I say “I don’t know it all, but here’s what I’ve learned so far…”

By Mo.

For me, some of the characteristics that I admire are people who have passion, integrity, authenticity, a godly character, a real (and dynamic) relationship with Jesus, a life which is marked by self-sacrifice.  A man or woman who has vision, who is out there leading the way and setting the example, someone who is able to communicate that vision and has enough patience not to get frustrated when things don’t quite go according to plan or not everyone immediately jumps on board!  To get all these things in one person would be a miracle – who’s perfect, hey?!  But these are all great qualities and something most of us aim for.

Whether we are the leader of a large church or a small group facilitator, sharing from the well of what the Lord is speaking to us about – and doing currently in our life – is genuine and has great sincerity.  It also shows those around us that we are all on a journey, that God continually has a fresh word for each one of us.  Modelling a healthy response to that word and then sharing what happens (both good and bad) as a result of stepping out in obedience can be hugely powerful.  Leaders need to have testimony of what God is currently doing in their lives.

One of the women in our church recently shared how God had been talking to her about getting out more into the community.  Unsure about what to do, she and her husband simply invited about 30 from her missional community to meet in a local park and see what God would do!  They noticed a woman with young children wandering around, obviously looking for something, with her kids becoming increasingly agitated.  It turned out she had lost her car keys, so the group all searched the park for them, doing so until sundown.  When they couldn’t find the keys they decided to pool money from their purses to pay for a locksmith to open the car and get it started for her.  This level of servanthood and generosity made a massive impact and tremendous God conversations followed with the woman and her family.

Stories of how God is working in other people’s lives prompts me to step out of my comfort zone, to pray more and to have greater faith for how God can work through me too.  Hopefully I will then see more fruit!  This then becomes a process that we encourage in those we lead.

God is our loving heavenly Father who loves to talk to and interact with us.  He is always speaking to us, revealing more of Himself to us.  Sometimes He is saying a lot, sometimes it is one word or just a gut feeling.  While the truths in the bible are unchanging and eternal, God breathes freshness over His word through His Holy Spirit.

• What is God saying to you at the moment?
• How does that affect your leadership and those you lead?
• How can you encourage those you lead to hear from the Lord and to act on what they hear?

One of the things that God has got my attention with recently is the word compassion. Mark Stibbe in his book ‘The Father You’ve Been Waiting For’ (HIGHLY recommended), describes compassion in this way: “Compassion, in short, is about participation, not detachment.  It is about actions more than words.” The word ‘participation’ really stood out to me.  For so long I’ve held back from people and not asked them ‘personal’ questions about their life because I didn’t want to seem intrusive or just plain nosey, and then begun to feel quite detached from people.  I’m finally understanding that love, and friendship, is about engaging with and participating in, someone else’s life. We were not created to live life in little self-contained bubbles on our own, but rather to have connections and meaningful interactions with other people.   I am teaching myself to think in a different way now….instead of seeming to be disinterested in someone’s life I am trying to ask myself ‘how can I participate in this person’s life today ? Not as someone who can solve all their problems, but as someone who wants to stand alongside them, laugh or cry with them – and let them do the same for me.

Lots of people I know seem to already be very good at this, but maybe you’re like me and find it doesn’t come quite so naturally.  Jesus, through living on the earth showed us the ultimate example of participating in people’s lives, and he is described as “the friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).  I want to learn how to do this better!  What about you?

We have also known extreme lows. Having to deal with the huge moral failure amongst other leaders when we were on staff at a large church is one such example. My husband was propelled into the senior position and by the grace of God the church didn’t collapse around us.  When the whole situation exploded, our summer vacation was cancelled and church members, in their hurt, were blaming us for something which was completely out of our hands.

Unfortunately, we have known pain at other times too.  Sometimes it’s been loneliness or isolation, sometimes powerlessness or being habitually ignored.

In each of these situations we’ve know that this is where God would have us be!  Many times we have asked “Why?” and wondered what on earth God could be doing.

Of course, God knows exactly what’s going on even if the situation and reasons for why God is allowing something to happen differ every time.  However, one of the things that God will be wanting is for us to trust Him and to be TOTALLY dependent on Him.

So, when you’re crying yourself to sleep again and asking “Why?” for the hundredth time, we need to make sure that one of the first things we do is to pour out our hearts to Him.  The psalms can be a really helpful guide.  They express lots of raw emotion but come back to God’s infinite love for us.

Worship songs can be healing and releasing.  They show that it’s not just about us but about God and His big plan.  Learning to praise regardless of our circumstances is powerful spiritual warfare, as is praying in tongues.

Prayer and fellowship with other Christians around us, plus just having lots of fun and remembering to laugh are SO important!  We must focus on the positive and what we do have.  Let’s make the most of the good things that we CAN do in the current circumstances which may not be possible when the situation changes.

We need to trust God despite the pain, disappointment or frustration.  We need to have hope that even if God is teaching us something through this, His will isn’t to keep us trapped here.  There WILL be something better to come!