Jo Saxton

Archive for the ‘Leadership’ Category

It was tiring. Very tiring. And I was glad it was nearly over as I could see my house just a few yards away. It took me over an hour to walk the dog this afternoon, mainly because of snow. The grounds were slippery and I was really struggling. But there was just one more thing that didn’t help, not at all. Rain boots. I know they are design to keep you dry and help with walking in the snow, but not these. These were my husband’s rain boots. I wear size 6 and he wears size 12! And I was tired.

And just in those last few tiring steps I was reminded about a simple lesson.

God has designed each one of us in a specific way. He has placed each one strategically “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14MSG), in a precise place giving us particular roles to fulfil His purpose.  In Romans 12 Paul talks about the Church being one body with many parts being the members. He talks not only about the different gifting and roles we have all been given. He also recognises the need to say: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgement, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you” (v.3).

 I know there have been times in my life were I looked at others, who had more experience, more involvement and more recognition in the life of the Church, with a slight jealousy in my heart. I thought that, if only I prayed more, gave more time and effort in my church, perhaps I would be that little bit more valued. And, of course, the Lord gives us times to learn important lessons. That it isn’t about being ‘valued’ because our significance lies in Him. And I’ve learned to get on with what I’ve been entrusted with, for this time now, without complaining and striving. But I know I’m far from perfect.

I will not be wearing my husband’s rain boots. They are his boots. They are his size. They fit him. They have been made to fit bigger feet than mine. And those rain boots fit his feet perfect.  Just like someone else’s ministry fits them perfect. And plus, walking in something that’s far too big for me is SO exhausting!  I’m not even going to try again.

This week Oprah made international news this week by announcing that her show will end in 2011. I’ve got to admit, I was a little wistful about it. I’m not an avid Oprah watcher; in fact I’ve not watched her for years. But I love Oprah, because she’s been a role model.

Before you mention it, no I’m not into all the spirituality stuff .Yes, like every talk show, sometimes you wonder if it’s a bit exploitative, whether all that sharing is necessary. And maybe some are cynical about her influence in the publishing industry, or even the election. I’m sure there are a million things we could say. But I said she was a role model, not a Saviour; she didn’t need to be perfect. She just needed to be there.

In my teens I looked for role models, women of colour who were dark skinned, who were not dancers or singers or athletes. Not because there was anything wrong with those women; not at all. It was simply that just because I could dance, and sing and be sporty, it didn’t mean that was what I wanted to do with my life, and I didn’t like the idea when those roles were assumed to be my destiny. I didn’t want a stereotype. After school I watched a lot of TV, searching for a different ending. I found two particular women that stood out to me. Claire Huxtable and Oprah Winfrey – and Claire was a fictional character! So that left Oprah to inspire. I won’t sound like a devoted fan, because I barely remember any of her shows or comments. I just needed to see her that’s all; to see that she had reached beyond what was expected and assumed of her. It was good to see her there every day. The world is different today. My daughters see their skin tone in the White House and shout “Obama’s butterscotch like me!” and play on completely carefree. But then, Oprah was evidence that a way was being paved to make a different future possible.

When I am speaking and working, THE conversation I always have with young women (especially those who are leaders) is about mentoring. There are women looking, longing for role models. They don’t need us to be perfect, they need us to be present, loving the lord, living the life – wherever that might be. They need more than fictional or historical or even TV hosts, they need us.  Are we ready and available to make the time to raise up the next generation? Some of us are still waiting to be raised ourselves, and wait in hope. I wonder if it’s time to be intentional with this and start mentoring anyway…

Back to today, I stay wistful and thankful for the people whom by their life and example, bid me to push forward. Ms. Oprah Winfrey, I salute you.

‘I am not ashamed of the gospel’.  Romans 1:16

When I read that verse, I feel a mixture of things – a challenge, a sense of unworthiness, guilt even.  Even if it is not my desire, the reality is I often am ashamed of the gospel.  Or at least, I am ashamed to speak up when I have an opportunity.

I remember one of my school friends once said to me: “Anna, I love the fact that you have never tried to push Christianity on me – that you respect what I believe and don’t try and change my beliefs”.  She meant it as a compliment but my heart sank.  I felt like I had failed. The truth is I can’t respect her beliefs – how can I respect something that I think is going to end her up in hell, never knowing the one who came to save her? I deeply respect and love her but I can’t respect what she believes.

Now a few years on my husband and I are missionaries in Peru and our job is to encourage people to reach others for Christ.  And we believe not only in talking – we have to model it! So we have started a Mums and tots group in a poor area of Lima.  When it began I had the intention of forming relationships with the women, getting to know them, visiting them and then perhaps, many weeks down the line, sharing the gospel with them.  But God challenged me.  Here in Peru people are very open to the gospel and don’t get offended easily by sharing it.  So why exactly was I holding off?

‘Don’t be ashamed of the gospel’, came God’s word ‘for it is the power of God for the salvation of all who believe’, followed by another verse: ‘Make the most of every opportunity’ (Col  4:5).

Ok God, I get it.

And you know what? Many women have begun a walk with Jesus as we have shared the gospel and God’s love with them every week.  I’m not saying that it is that easy in every culture (I am pretty sure it is not!), but part of me wonders if the reason I saw less people come to know Christ in my home culture had less to do with people not being open and more to do with my embarrassment of the Gospel.  The harvest is plentiful, we just need to know where to harvest and then go and do it.

Do you feel empowered or powerless when it comes to sharing the Gospel?
What opportunities is God giving you at the moment to make the most of?

Leadership is one of those funny things.  One moment everything’s amazing: those you’re leading are thriving and growing in their relationship with Jesus, you feel inspired about what to do and say, and those around you are saying how much you’ve helped them (what a privilege!).  The next moment the place seems to be falling apart: intense spiritual warfare, breakdown of relationships, people being negative about you, and you haven’t a clue about what to do.

Of course there is a time and season for everything under heaven.  Whether, and for whatever reason, it is a time of more passive leadership and abiding (as in the parable of the vine and branches in John 15), a time of just ‘being’ and spending more time with the Father.  Conversely, it could be a time of more active, even aggressive leadership, of working really hard (without burning ourselves out).

The key for knowing all of this is to permanently (or as often as is realistically possible) keep our eyes fixed on Jesus (Heb 12:2).  We need to keep on asking Him, ‘what am I to do here and how do I do it?’

It is so easy when times are good to think we know what we’re doing and to cruise on autopilot.  We can be tempted to give out of our own resources rather than the overflow of what God’s put in us.  We can easily be distracted by good/ interesting /fun things that are going on around us (which are not bad in and of themselves).

When times are more difficult, we may have so many urgent and pressing things or people competing for our attention.  How easy it is to respond to one demand after another.  It can be hard to find time to really seek the Lord.  What is the thing that He would deem as urgent and how would He want me to go about it?

This is one of those basic truths that we all know but sometimes forget to implement. I have to keep on reminding myself of what I’m aiming for.  Who am I trying to please?  Am I getting my priorities right?  I’m assuming that this will be an ongoing thing for us all to master.  Or is it just me?!

If we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses (those whom we lead and whose lives we affect, both in and out of the church), then let nothing hinder us, but let’s run with perseverance and fix our eyes on Jesus!

Ponder:

• How is your rhythm for spending time with God and working out what He wants you to do in your present situation?
• Is God calling you to a season of abiding/resting/focussing more on Him?  Or is he telling you to go?

I love this quote from an article written by Dr Scot McKnight, a Professor in Religious Studies

at North Park University (Chicago, Illinois). It’s taken from his article “Women Ministering” on www. cbeinternational.org

“When we ask the question of women in ministry, the debate almost immediately gravitates to traditional “women in ministry” texts. But I’d like us to ask another question — one both more biblical and more answerable: Do women do in your church what Miriam, Deborah, Huldah, Priscilla, Junia, and Phoebe did? Do they do what Mary did? Do they do what Jesus encouraged women to do?”

I think he asks us some brilliant questions!  Any thoughts?

Photo by Hilde Vanstraelen.  www.biewoef.be

Who me? Am I allowed to do this? Am I called to be this? Should I want to do this?

No. Surely it’s just my own selfish ambition. Crying out for attention. AGAIN.

So why won’t it go away?

Why does it fill me so, compel me so feel like fire breaking out of me so I’m about to explode?

I can’t take this, but I cannot ignore You.  I don’t want to. Because somewhere in me

(And I’ll only say this as a whisper)I know it is you.

——————————————–

You did this to me. I find it remarkable almost funny, almost,

That people think I wanted this, like I was greedy for the power. Have they

Known the loneliness, the hostility?

Do they think I want a platform, to blaze a trail? No! You take it all!

Give me acceptance, give me normality, give me friendship and love and fun

Instead of this fire in my bones that burns even me.

——————————————–

This is who I am. I think. A leader I think. I have something to say

It would be so much easier if you listened to me. Why do you smile and still

Ignore my every word?

I think. Yes, I feel, but I think I can’t live in the box you’ve got for me.

Fire needs a torch not a lampshade. I think I might be confident enough

To not need your approval to be who I am called to be.

——————————————–

There are days I wish, I long for guidelines on how to do this.

Instead it’s a labyrinth, in the dark. Its hard and Its tiring.

Am I getting anywhere?

Marriage, children – girls! In it all you kept returning as did the fire.

Occasionally I find a friend in the labyrinth and its healing, because she understands.

So I don’t fight you anymore (much) because I know you are for me, and together we’ll find a way.

——————————————–

“No one’s ever said to me that I could be a strong woman”

“It makes such a difference to see a woman up there.” Spoken with smiles and tears.

Is that fire in their eyes?

Is it hope that I might feel what they feel, fear what they fear, and have something to share?

I hold out a tissue and they wipe their eyes. They’re wondering why my hand remains outstretched.

“Come” I say “I don’t know it all, but here’s what I’ve learned so far…”

By Mo.

Think of the leaders that you respect or who impact you the most.  What is it about them that earns your respect and admiration?  Be as specific as possible!

For me, some of the characteristics that I admire are people who have passion, integrity, authenticity, a godly character, a real (and dynamic) relationship with Jesus, a life which is marked by self-sacrifice.  A man or woman who has vision, who is out there leading the way and setting the example, someone who is able to communicate that vision and has enough patience not to get frustrated when things don’t quite go according to plan or not everyone immediately jumps on board!  To get all these things in one person would be a miracle – who’s perfect, hey?!  But these are all great qualities and something most of us aim for.

Whether we are the leader of a large church or a small group facilitator, sharing from the well of what the Lord is speaking to us about – and doing currently in our life – is genuine and has great sincerity.  It also shows those around us that we are all on a journey, that God continually has a fresh word for each one of us.  Modelling a healthy response to that word and then sharing what happens (both good and bad) as a result of stepping out in obedience can be hugely powerful.  Leaders need to have testimony of what God is currently doing in their lives.

One of the women in our church recently shared how God had been talking to her about getting out more into the community.  Unsure about what to do, she and her husband simply invited about 30 from her missional community to meet in a local park and see what God would do!  They noticed a woman with young children wandering around, obviously looking for something, with her kids becoming increasingly agitated.  It turned out she had lost her car keys, so the group all searched the park for them, doing so until sundown.  When they couldn’t find the keys they decided to pool money from their purses to pay for a locksmith to open the car and get it started for her.  This level of servanthood and generosity made a massive impact and tremendous God conversations followed with the woman and her family.

Stories of how God is working in other people’s lives prompts me to step out of my comfort zone, to pray more and to have greater faith for how God can work through me too.  Hopefully I will then see more fruit!  This then becomes a process that we encourage in those we lead.

God is our loving heavenly Father who loves to talk to and interact with us.  He is always speaking to us, revealing more of Himself to us.  Sometimes He is saying a lot, sometimes it is one word or just a gut feeling.  While the truths in the bible are unchanging and eternal, God breathes freshness over His word through His Holy Spirit.

• What is God saying to you at the moment?
• How does that affect your leadership and those you lead?
• How can you encourage those you lead to hear from the Lord and to act on what they hear?

Over the past year God has got me thinking about love a bit, and just recently about friendship.   I’ve always found relationships a bit tricky. I was extremely shy as a kid and just sort of fumbled my way through friendships. I had a few Christian friends, but always struggled to know how to BE a good friend to others, not just have them be a good friend to me. I guess as I’ve got older it’s got easier, partly because I am so much more secure in my identity so I am way less intimidated by others, and partly because I’ve been watching how other people are good friends to each other and what that means. God has given me some amazing friends and community now who I really share life with, and I’m so grateful for them.

One of the things that God has got my attention with recently is the word compassion. Mark Stibbe in his book ‘The Father You’ve Been Waiting For’ (HIGHLY recommended), describes compassion in this way: “Compassion, in short, is about participation, not detachment.  It is about actions more than words.” The word ‘participation’ really stood out to me.  For so long I’ve held back from people and not asked them ‘personal’ questions about their life because I didn’t want to seem intrusive or just plain nosey, and then begun to feel quite detached from people.  I’m finally understanding that love, and friendship, is about engaging with and participating in, someone else’s life. We were not created to live life in little self-contained bubbles on our own, but rather to have connections and meaningful interactions with other people.   I am teaching myself to think in a different way now….instead of seeming to be disinterested in someone’s life I am trying to ask myself ‘how can I participate in this person’s life today ? Not as someone who can solve all their problems, but as someone who wants to stand alongside them, laugh or cry with them – and let them do the same for me.

Lots of people I know seem to already be very good at this, but maybe you’re like me and find it doesn’t come quite so naturally.  Jesus, through living on the earth showed us the ultimate example of participating in people’s lives, and he is described as “the friend who sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).  I want to learn how to do this better!  What about you?

My husband and I have known amazing highs in leadership.  Whether it be seeing our church body grow and flourish, or whether it is travelling to beautiful countries to speak at conferences or church weekends.  We’ve met amazing people and toured beautiful places.  All in the name of ministry!

We have also known extreme lows. Having to deal with the huge moral failure amongst other leaders when we were on staff at a large church is one such example. My husband was propelled into the senior position and by the grace of God the church didn’t collapse around us.  When the whole situation exploded, our summer vacation was cancelled and church members, in their hurt, were blaming us for something which was completely out of our hands.

Unfortunately, we have known pain at other times too.  Sometimes it’s been loneliness or isolation, sometimes powerlessness or being habitually ignored.

In each of these situations we’ve know that this is where God would have us be!  Many times we have asked “Why?” and wondered what on earth God could be doing.

Of course, God knows exactly what’s going on even if the situation and reasons for why God is allowing something to happen differ every time.  However, one of the things that God will be wanting is for us to trust Him and to be TOTALLY dependent on Him.

So, when you’re crying yourself to sleep again and asking “Why?” for the hundredth time, we need to make sure that one of the first things we do is to pour out our hearts to Him.  The psalms can be a really helpful guide.  They express lots of raw emotion but come back to God’s infinite love for us.

Worship songs can be healing and releasing.  They show that it’s not just about us but about God and His big plan.  Learning to praise regardless of our circumstances is powerful spiritual warfare, as is praying in tongues.

Prayer and fellowship with other Christians around us, plus just having lots of fun and remembering to laugh are SO important!  We must focus on the positive and what we do have.  Let’s make the most of the good things that we CAN do in the current circumstances which may not be possible when the situation changes.

We need to trust God despite the pain, disappointment or frustration.  We need to have hope that even if God is teaching us something through this, His will isn’t to keep us trapped here.  There WILL be something better to come!

In the last month, life has gone from fast jog to sprint.  I am already a full-time Mum with two children under three. I run a home, I need to spend time with my husband and I have various ministry responsibilities.

When we welcomed two girls into our home for six months of discipleship, I suddenly felt completely overwhelmed. Everyone needed my care. I had time allotted for dates, for rest, for retreat – and I was not willing to cut these out, or sacrifice the care I gave to our kids.

Lord, help me! What can I do? Where can I get more time, more strength so I don’t become bitter, tired and irritable? Previously my response would have been, ‘No, I’m not doing that’.  But this wasn’t a moment to give something up.  Instead, I felt God was asking me to allow Him to increase my capacity.

About a year ago, I was given a word about juggling fruit. I felt it meant that God would be giving me lots of activities and He wanted me to be fruitful in all of them.

When you learn to juggle you start with one object, moving it between your hands and then gradually you add more.  You will drop things along the way, but with practice you learn how to keep them in the air. God has gradually been giving me more things to juggle and, as promised, they have begun to bear fruit. Now I feel God is saying that he is throwing in another piece.

He challenged me about where my strength was coming from.  With two little ones I am constantly tired, but the real reason for me being irritable was interrupted or postponed time with God.  To increase my capacity, my strength has to come from Him.

For the past two weeks I have sleepily arisen to try and get my quiet time.  It hasn’t always happened. Sometimes I just can’t get up or my children wake up extra early, but I am now craving my time with the Lord more and more.  Seeing things from God’s perspective means they do not appear so overwhelming.

We have people coming round at four o’clock and I’m ready for bed, but God shows me how important the time is going to be. I am suddenly energised to listen intently and give myself to them.

“Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what’s given and delighting in the work. It’s God’s gift!” Ecclesiastes 5:18 (The Message)

In what area of your life does God want to give you extra capacity?

We all know that one of the main heart characteristics of a leader is to serve. Jesus washing the disciples’ feet is often the prime biblical example mentioned. But reading the story of Jesus and the Samarian woman at the well reminded me of another aspect of serving – being open to our weaknesses so that others can serve us. Hang on a minute, did you say, “so others can serve us”? Yes, I did! But not so that we can receive, (although what a blessing that is too!) but so that the Gospel can be shared with others…

 John 4 tells us Jesus was tired and thirsty and sat down on Jacob’s well. It was midday and the heat was strong.  Jesus had nothing to draw water with. His natural thirst, his human weakness, was the way into his divine encounter with this woman. It not only gave him a motive to speak to her, but it provided the metaphor for him to share about spiritual water and true life. In his weakness Jesus humbled himself with the woman and created a more equal ground for them to talk. He didn’t assert his authority, but instead, drew her into conversation with him.

 So then, how about beginning to look for disciples even before they come to know Christ? Jesus modelled working with those who were open to him – he called Peter to follow him when he needed a boat to preach in. The meeting of that need was the beginning of a church-planter!

 As a missionary in Peru, I am aware of all the western-world wealth (education, finances, different perspectives) that I bring to this country, and I am constantly looking for ways to use my wealth to bless others and show them the love of Christ. Now, this is not wrong. But I am not here to make Peru like the West! I wonder what would happen if I stopped seeing the people here as poor and in need of help. What if I looked for ways that they could serve me and my family or my ministry community instead? Perhaps then they could meet me as equals and begin to take hold of the Gospel and what it means for themselves. A consumer-Christianity would be transformed into an interdependent community.

•   Which people in your life now are open to help and serve you, even though they don’t yet know Christ?
•   Where are the weaknesses in your life (time, resources, energy) which could be opportunities to invite others to help you, so that they can meet Jesus? 

My husband James and I and our two small children are about to sell up, leave our family and friends and go to South Wales to do a year of mission training,  with the long term vision of going to Australia to work amongst Aborigines. What was once, to me, an interesting but quite far fetched dream of my husband has suddenly become my reality! I feel like I’ve walked the miles of this journey in my mind countless times but now it’s time to actually take the first step and go everything in me is going into panic overdrive. All my fears and insecurities about money, our home, uprooting our kids, and the future, are threatening to overshadow the amazing potential of this adventure. I’ve found it is so easy to talk about going anywhere God calls me but when it comes down to packing my bag and going, it’s terrifying!

In the midst of all this I’ve felt drawn to read about the disciples and their willingness to leave everything and go with Jesus. When Jesus called to those first disciples, “Come, follow me,” they didn’t first rationalise their decision and then come up with Plan B in case of failure. They left their nets at once and followed him (Mark 1v16-18). When Jesus sent them out in twos, he said, “Take nothing for the journey…no bread, no bag, no money in your belts” (Mark 6v8). They literally went in the clothes they had on and yet I’m upset about selling my washing machine and sofa and wondering how to take all my little home comforts to make my journey easier! When Jesus told them to “go into all the world and preach the good news” (Mark 16v15-20), they knew him so well and completely trusted his provision that they just went. What incredible faith and obedience.

The choice to go on a journey with God is ours. If we take that first step then the Bible is clear that we will see signs and wonders, healings and people saved because we go in Jesus’ authority. Ultimately what have we got to lose? Nothing! Earthly riches don’t matter because our treasure and reward are in heaven! But imagine the great adventure we could have if we are just willing to take a step and GO!

It deeply, deeply saddens me when I hear of yet another ministry couple who have been wounded and hurt by other Christians, often who are themselves in leadership.  I find myself asking ‘Why does this have to be?’

Most people who have been in leadership for a reasonable length of time have found that on various different occasions, to varying degrees, they have been let down, hurt, even betrayed, by those they trusted so deeply.  Whether it is because of deliberate sin or whether it’s just that the enemy has found a foothold somewhere and managed to break down a relationship.- whatever the cause, it can make life incredibly hard.

Unfortunately, no one is perfect (ourselves included) and the devil is out there trying desperately to tear down whatever the Lord is building up.  Conflict is inevitable!! 

The principles that Jesus lays down in Matt 18:15-17 are a great starting point for moving forward in such situations.  They centre around going straight to the person with whom you have an issue, and one-on-one speaking directly to them.  This is generally a hugely counter-cultural thing to do, yet is so powerful in preventing the sickness of broken relationships infecting the wider body of Christ. 

Not taking others’ comments too personally is also important – sometimes we just need to grow a thicker skin!  Being open and honest in a loving and humble way, having someone to whom we are accountable, as well as having a sense of humour, can also go a long way to prevent relationship breakdown.

Of course, sometimes there is a huge rift and the pain goes really deep.  Our first reaction may well be to retreat to a safe place.  Alone time with the Lord is good where we can pour out our hearts to Him and to seek refuge in His arms (some of the Psalms can be great to meditate on). 

Sometimes it’s helpful to go to mature Christians who can act as a sounding board and give you a wise, objective point of view.  Getting prayer support is key to bring encouragement to you and to stop the enemy from making the situation worse.

Succumbing to bitterness and resentment could be so easy.  However, doing so will actually imprison you rather than anyone else.  Of course the narrow, difficult path is the path to freedom.  Choosing to bless those who curse you and offering forgiveness is a daily act of discipline.

I know that I have tendencies to ‘get on my high horse’ and assume that they are the ones mostly in the wrong!  However, I presume that Jesus would prefer me to withhold my judgement and instead to seek reconciliation and extend grace.  Reconciliation does not mean that from now on you will be best buddies with that person, but it does mean that if and when you come across them you can look them in the eye and genuinely ask after them.  Remember Ephesians 6.12:  ”Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Jesus knows exactly what it’s like to be let down and betrayed.  For how long did He know that Judas would betray Him?  Even so, Jesus still poured His life into him up to that point of no return, and presumably included Judas in His mind when He prayed from the cross for forgiveness for those who had put Him there.

Regardless of others’ behaviour, we are answerable to God for ourselves.  No matter what darts have been thrown at us, let’s fix our eyes on Jesus and not be distracted by the good and bad around us.  We will continue to face both the joy and the heartache that relationships bring until we reach heaven.  Let’s choose to keep our hearts malleable and pure, as we seek to walk blamelessly before the Lord.

What do you do as a leader when you have those inevitable blips and wonder what on earth you are doing and/or whether you are in the right place?!

I would argue that as leaders a sense of calling is crucial.  It gives you focus and something to aim for.  It also brings reassurance that you are in the right place at the right time.  When initiating something significant, it helps hugely to know that it was God who called you to a specific task.  I have heard it said that the stronger and clearer the calling, the harder the task at hand.  I imagine that’s because when those trials and questions come, you can go back to that calling and hold onto the promises God gave you.

Think of Moses, who at the burning bush was given the very daunting task of leading the Exodus.  He was not at all sure, so asked God for signs.  In spite of God answering in numerous ways, he still ended up trying to wriggle out of the call.  In the end God got really angry with him and just told him to get on and do it!  Years later, with the moaning Israelites, Moses would continually point them back to God and the call on them as a nation.  No doubt in those times of trial he would go back to that initial, very clear call on him too!

Surely it’s good throughout our ministry to keep going back to that initial call.  Additional words which are added in as we make that journey help to focus, bring greater clarity, and possibly new direction, to our mission.  We also keep our spiritual eyes open to see what the Lord is doing through us at any particular time.  Where have we been, and where are we currently, producing fruit?  Where do other doors seem to be opening for us today?

When there is confusion, you have doubts or things seem to be disintegrating around you, go back to basics.  What is the Lord’s calling on you?  These could be general themes like certain bible verses.  There will also be certain specific words from God, or maybe which other Christians have spoken over you.  What do you sense the Lord is saying to you at this time?  Talk these ideas over with another mature Christian and make sure people are praying for you!

Remember 1 Thessalonians 5.24:  

“He who calls you is faithful and He will do it!”

For most of my life I have struggled with comparing myself to others; to those I consider to be further ahead on my journey I have beaten myself up thinking I will never be good as them; to those I consider to be behind me on their journey I’ve gained a sense of security by consciously and subconsciously noting their weaknesses and failings, whilst I think to myself how good I am at being a Christian and sit there feeling smug.  Both attitudes suck and have resulted in 2 things in my relationship with God my Father; firstly thinking that He doesn’t love me like He loves others, and secondly by becoming proud and arrogant.

God has done a lot to challenge me about the second attitude, but recently I have been thinking about the first one.  I have often thought that I’m not as important, special or loved as those in leadership over me or around me.  I apply this to promises God makes such as “God won’t really provide for me, he only does that for other people” or “God won’t really use me to heal people when I pray for them because I’m not as holy/spirit-filled/anointed (delete as appropriate) as others”.  This little kernel of unbelief has got into me that God only does the cool stuff for big leader types, and I’ve allowed it to grow.  Now I am finding I need to deconstruct this mindset and replace it with truth – mainly being that the promises I read about in the bible are FOR ME just as much as anyone else. 

 God also showed me something else which has been helpful; that leaders are there to show people what is possible, not to show us what we can’t have. So when they share a story of how God has provided for them it should make me excited that I can see that in my own life too!

The promises of God are not for those who achieve a certain spiritual status, but they are for the least, the last and the lost – and me. Instead of feeling insignificant in the face of other people’s God stories, I need to rejoice that someone has shown me that something is possible, and could also be true for me!  This feels like such a relief; I no longer feel I have to live up to a certain standard.  I think this has helped me understand why Paul says in 1 Corinthians 4:16-17:

“I urge you to imitate me. I am sending to you Timothy…he will remind you of my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church”. 

Paul isn’t being arrogant; he wants the Corinthian church to see the same level of power and activity of the Spirit in their lives as he does in his.  Bring it on!

What do you do as a leader when you have those inevitable blips and wonder what on earth you are doing and/or whether you are in the right place?!

I would argue that as leaders a sense of calling is crucial.  It gives you focus and something to aim for.  It also brings reassurance that you are in the right place at the right time.  When initiating something significant, it helps hugely to know that it was God who called you to a specific task.  I have heard it said that the stronger and clearer the calling, the harder the task at hand.  I imagine that’s because when those trials and questions come, you can go back to that calling and hold onto the promises God gave you.

Think of Moses, who at the burning bush was given the very daunting task of leading the Exodus.  He was not at all sure, so asked God for signs.  In spite of God answering in numerous ways, he still ended up trying to wriggle out of the call.  In the end God got really angry with him and just told him to get on and do it!  Years later, with the moaning Israelites, Moses would continually point them back to God and the call on them as a nation.  No doubt in those times of trial he would go back to that initial, very clear call on him too!

Surely it’s good throughout our ministry to keep going back to that initial call.  Additional words which are added in as we make that journey help to focus, bring greater clarity, and possibly new direction, to our mission.  We also keep our spiritual eyes open to see what the Lord is doing through us at any particular time.  Where have we been, and where are we currently, producing fruit?  Where do other doors seem to be opening for us today?

When there is confusion, you have doubts or things seem to be disintegrating around you, go back to basics.  What is the Lord’s calling on you?  These could be general themes like certain Bible verses.  There will also be certain specific words from God, or maybe which other Christians have spoken over you.  What do you sense the Lord is saying to you at this time?  Talk these ideas over with another mature Christian and make sure people are praying for you!

Remember 1Thessalonians 5.24:  “He who calls you is faithful and He will do it!”

In the past I have interacted with passionate, gifted young men and women who clearly have vision and drive that could take them very far.  Their desires and passions are noble and worthy, clearly from God and yet something within me says ‘they’re not ready’.  Why is that? Is it me being afraid to release those more gifted than me for fear of looking like a failure in comparison, or afraid that they’ll make a mess of it and I’ll have to clear it up? Or is it that I’d rather judge someone based on their character flaws, rather than their positives in order to make myself feel better about myself? 

 I’ll put my hand up and say yes to all those!  I have been guilty in the past of not wanting to release someone, or being afraid to do so for fear of the consequences and what that would reflect on me.   I must have wisdom of course, because I do still have a responsibility for those who will be influenced by this person too, BUT! If I restrict people unnecessarily then I am not acting according to the rule of love laid out by Jesus. Leaders should be those who love people the most – I don’t think we can get away with not doing that, at least not for very long.  Colossians 3 lays out some basic principles for the way we are to interact with each other. “You must clothe yourselves with tender-hearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you…Above all, clothe yourselves with love.” (Col 3:12-14)  

 Above all, clothe yourselves with love!  My mandate as a leader is no less than to love the people I lead.  That doesn’t mean I always let them do what they want, but my under girding principle needs to be one of nurture and release – this often looks different for different people and I need wisdom in it, just as any parent needs wisdom in how to best love their kids, including discipline when necessary. 

I need to want the best for someone, and the best is sometimes that I let them get on and try, never mind the consequences.  I need to learn to love them for who they are, not for who they could become, or worse, hold onto the things that grate on me or concern me about them tighter than the things I need to encourage or bless them in.  I am learning to remember that I was in their shoes once – and still am in lots of ways.  I am very blessed to have people around me who cheer me on, telling me I’m doing well, pointing out my areas for improvement, but are loving me to go on.  I need to remember to do the same for those I lead.

“The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”  (Genesis 2:18 TNIV)

There are some verses in the Bible that are soft and warm and others that are like dynamite, rousing the greatest of passions. Words are powerful things, and the words in this verse are no exception. They’re dynamite all right. But what do they actually mean?

Helper sounds like tea lady, back up, assistant, say some. And for those women who hoped that God had something more in mind for their identity, it’s heartbreaking. It’s not that they wish to belittle housekeepers, assistants, secretaries etc. It’s just that they know, oh how they know, that there’s something else in their hearts, and they believed God put that something there. And it doesn’t involve assisting. It employs their passions and intellects and initiative in a different way; their strategizing and strength for with a different end in mind. They’ve been frustrated for long enough -surely God hasn’t stopped believing in them too? And then there’s the suitable for him bit. For some, the heartbreak just deepens with the feeling that women were set on earth soley to compliment, help, make a man look better. They feel as though it meant they had no contribution of their own to bring.  At times suitable has been exchanged for lifesaver, one who brings out the best in their partner.  Which doesn’t sound bad at all really. Unless you are single. Then what’s your purpose? Are you a nobody because you didn’t get married?

 When you’re dealing with a rich language like the Hebrew of the Old Testament text, it’s worth a much closer look. There we discover that the word translated helper or helpmeet is EZER. We discover that it appears many times in the OT, but the vast majority of those times EZER describes God, as he is delivering and rescuing (helping) His people. It’s a word conveying power and strength, a word with military connotations. To be named EZER is not some afterthought, but in His image and likeness. And what an image and likeness! Not someone deemed unable to do more than assist because of their weakness, but one who can help because they have the passion, power and purpose to do so.

Then the Knegedu “suitable” bit.   The phrase means facing, corresponding to, like  it. “Facing” is important because it means to stand in a person’s presence as an equal and other entity. The EZER is not wrapped up and consumed in someone else’s story. The Ezer stands in bold partnership separate and equal, eyeball to eyeball. EZER is also a verb meaning to protect, surround, defend, cherish.

So what does that mean for us – does the EZER live today? I think so – I see the EZER in the mom who devotes her life to her family. The ezer is in the neighbor who cares about safety and security in her neighborhood. She’s the single mom who holds down a full time job and raises her kids alone. The career woman passionate about her work,  the campaigner for human rights. She’s the youth pastor who works tirelessly for the youth in the community. She is the senior pastor who has paid a high price to get to where she is, but is prepared to be misunderstood by men and women, knowing she is understood by her Heavenly Father.

Ezers come in all shapes and sizes, all ages, colors and classes. They look and live their lives very differently, but share something in their DNA. Made in God’s image, they have God’s power and strength. They can initiate or support. They have something about them. And they stand equal, autonomous, yet face to face with men. They have something to offer the men in their lives, and something to learn and receive from them.

When God looked down from heaven and made woman, what on earth was he thinking?

He was thinking EZER.

Dynamite.