Jo Saxton

Author Archive

I love autumn, it’s my favourite season. I love the beautiful colours, the smell of bonfires, crunching and kicking through the leaves with the kids or splashing in puddles, the excuse to get out those chunky winter jumpers, the afternoons getting darker and feeling cosy inside. How romantic it sounds!

I’ve been really aware of the changing season this year, particularly in the past week coming away from the coast to the hills where the trees are in full autumn glory. I read something recently that remarked on how ironic it is that the leaves are only so beautiful because they are dying. The leaves have enjoyed the pleasant spring and summer and now must die in order for the cycle of life to start again in the spring. This isn’t a dismal death though; this is going in a blaze of glory! It has made me reflect on how I embrace the cycle of life and death (or pruning in John 15:2) in my walk with Jesus. Ecclesiastes 3 says, “there is a time for everything…a time to be born and a time to die.” So often, I am not best pleased when that pruning time comes; I want to run from it because it is usually painful and hard work. I reluctantly give in to God rather than run towards Him with a willing heart. I kind of wither and shrivel in self-pity rather than blaze with glory and let the beauty of death to self shine through. The thing about the seasons in nature is that you know what’s going to happen. I know that winter will soon follow and it will be cold and sometimes feel desolate but then the warmth of spring will eventually return and the trees will become green again. Life will be restored.

Really, it’s the same in our faith.  If we want to have life to the full and be fruitful in our walk then we have to go through seasons of pruning and death. But we have to remember that light and life will return and that the Lord will carry us through those tough times. Trust in Him and embrace whatever season you are in!

“As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins…But because of his great love for us, God who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved” (Ephesians 2v4-5).

How often do you use the word ‘but’? It’s an every day word, used countless times often in an insignificant way; “I’d love to help but I’m busy right now”, “You can have that chocolate button but first you need to tidy your toys away”, “I forgive you but I’m still cross inside.” In this passage in Ephesians the word ‘but’ becomes a hugely significant turning point; hope is restored with that one word. Man disobeyed God and so we have come under His judgement and anger BUT because of God’s enormous love for us, He sent Jesus to die for us and so opened up the way for us to have eternal life. I’m so thankful that that ‘but’ is there! This passage has spoken to me hugely this week. I have been in London learning about different religions, and had the opportunity to visit a Mosque, a Sikh Gurdwara, and a Hindu Temple and listen to religious leaders talk about their faith. The thing that struck me the most was their lack of certainty that they would be forgiven and go to heaven; a common feature with all was that they had to do good works or make offerings to their god in order to be in with a chance. It felt so hopeless. BUT what good news we as Christians have! We are forgiven and given hope and life in abundance and nothing we can do can change that. We should really pray that we know the power of the word ‘but’ in our lives every day.

Living with an illness is never easy. We live in a world where we want to have quick fixes and instant solutions and we can be guilty of demanding that of God too, especially in regards to healing. I believe wholeheartedly that God has the power to heal all our diseases (“by his wounds you have been healed” 1 Peter 2:24). However, that healing may not be in the way we expect it to be or at the time we choose.

When I first met my husband he had been diagnosed with clinical depression about a year previously. He was unable to work, barely able to get up in the morning, on extremely strong anti-depressants and seeing various psychiatrists. With no obvious trigger point, life had been sucked out of him and he felt angry and abandoned by his Father in Heaven. He describes it as being completely numb to every feeling and emotion; no passion, no joy, no real sadness, just complete apathy. I believe that mental illness, particularly depression, is one of Satan’s biggest weapons of warfare today. It hangs like a thick fog over society as people are overcome by feelings of stress, despair, helplessness, and hopelessness. Depression flattens people, squashing the life out of them and Christians are by no means immune to this disease.

I really struggled with God as to why He was bringing me into this hugely significant relationship at a time that seemed completely wrong. But He showed me that His timing and plans are perfect. Jesus said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life” (John 8:12). Sometimes, I think God uses us to be light bearers, to carry the light of Jesus into dark places where people are broken and lifeless. That’s how God has used our marriage. There hasn’t been a bolt of lightning healing; it’s been a long and gradual, often painful process, of prayer, healing and hope restored. We are in an ongoing battle against depression, with defeats and victories, but we choose to fight because we vowed to love each other in sickness and in health. We choose to say “Blessed be your Name” even in the desert places. If we don’t, then our hope is lost. And light does break through the darkness – my husband cried for the first time in years on our wedding day, he’s held down a job for the past four years, and now has an incredible passion to go and be a missionary. Our children’s names mean life-bringer and hope and they are a testimony to the life, light and hope that Jesus brings.

My husband James and I and our two small children are about to sell up, leave our family and friends and go to South Wales to do a year of mission training,  with the long term vision of going to Australia to work amongst Aborigines. What was once, to me, an interesting but quite far fetched dream of my husband has suddenly become my reality! I feel like I’ve walked the miles of this journey in my mind countless times but now it’s time to actually take the first step and go everything in me is going into panic overdrive. All my fears and insecurities about money, our home, uprooting our kids, and the future, are threatening to overshadow the amazing potential of this adventure. I’ve found it is so easy to talk about going anywhere God calls me but when it comes down to packing my bag and going, it’s terrifying!

In the midst of all this I’ve felt drawn to read about the disciples and their willingness to leave everything and go with Jesus. When Jesus called to those first disciples, “Come, follow me,” they didn’t first rationalise their decision and then come up with Plan B in case of failure. They left their nets at once and followed him (Mark 1v16-18). When Jesus sent them out in twos, he said, “Take nothing for the journey…no bread, no bag, no money in your belts” (Mark 6v8). They literally went in the clothes they had on and yet I’m upset about selling my washing machine and sofa and wondering how to take all my little home comforts to make my journey easier! When Jesus told them to “go into all the world and preach the good news” (Mark 16v15-20), they knew him so well and completely trusted his provision that they just went. What incredible faith and obedience.

The choice to go on a journey with God is ours. If we take that first step then the Bible is clear that we will see signs and wonders, healings and people saved because we go in Jesus’ authority. Ultimately what have we got to lose? Nothing! Earthly riches don’t matter because our treasure and reward are in heaven! But imagine the great adventure we could have if we are just willing to take a step and GO!

Jenny is married to James and has two little girls, Evie (2) & Tessa (9 weeks). At the moment they live in Manchester but are about to go to South Wales to do mission training before hopefully heading out to Australia to work along side Aborigines. Jenny enjoys reading, baking and crafty things in all the free time she gets in between juggling a toddler and a newborn!