In the last month, life has gone from fast jog to sprint. I am already a full-time Mum with two children under three. I run a home, I need to spend time with my husband and I have various ministry responsibilities.
When we welcomed two girls into our home for six months of discipleship, I suddenly felt completely overwhelmed. Everyone needed my care. I had time allotted for dates, for rest, for retreat – and I was not willing to cut these out, or sacrifice the care I gave to our kids.
Lord, help me! What can I do? Where can I get more time, more strength so I don’t become bitter, tired and irritable? Previously my response would have been, ‘No, I’m not doing that’. But this wasn’t a moment to give something up. Instead, I felt God was asking me to allow Him to increase my capacity.
About a year ago, I was given a word about juggling fruit. I felt it meant that God would be giving me lots of activities and He wanted me to be fruitful in all of them.
When you learn to juggle you start with one object, moving it between your hands and then gradually you add more. You will drop things along the way, but with practice you learn how to keep them in the air. God has gradually been giving me more things to juggle and, as promised, they have begun to bear fruit. Now I feel God is saying that he is throwing in another piece.
He challenged me about where my strength was coming from. With two little ones I am constantly tired, but the real reason for me being irritable was interrupted or postponed time with God. To increase my capacity, my strength has to come from Him.
For the past two weeks I have sleepily arisen to try and get my quiet time. It hasn’t always happened. Sometimes I just can’t get up or my children wake up extra early, but I am now craving my time with the Lord more and more. Seeing things from God’s perspective means they do not appear so overwhelming.
We have people coming round at four o’clock and I’m ready for bed, but God shows me how important the time is going to be. I am suddenly energised to listen intently and give myself to them.
“Yes, we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what’s given and delighting in the work. It’s God’s gift!” Ecclesiastes 5:18 (The Message)
In what area of your life does God want to give you extra capacity?
